Oversteer My Bagel: An Oppositelock toaster review

"Alfalfa" (alfalfa-romeo)
02/06/2018 at 22:50 • Filed to: Oversteer my bagel, Crossovers, shitpost

Today I received in the mail a combination toaster and toaster oven. A toaster-oven-toaster, if you will.

Disclaimer: Hamilton Beach wanted me to review this appliance so badly that they set my house on fire, necessitating the replacement of most of my belongings. I searched Amazon for toasters under $30 and found this gem for $29.

What a time to be alive. We have iPads that can drive, Lamborghinis that are crossovers, and Italian cars that are built in Mexico. And now we have a single device that will toast your food 2 different ways.

Now you may be accustomed to the idea that something designed to do 2 things will do a mediocre job at one or both of those things. I am here to tell you that you are still correct.

It doesn’t toast very evenly. The print on the plate is sideways just to annoy you.

I’m not a toast Nazi, so I’m pretty okay with it regardless. Onto the toaster oven.

It is a very compact toaster oven. This mini pizza crust barely fit. But it does in fact toast. To be fair, I have never in my life owned a toaster oven and have zero basis for comparison.

Pizza was good.

DISCUSSION (20)

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 22:54

For more of my thoughts on the toaster oven and your oversteering bagels, click the link below to check out my column on oventrader.com/bagelsteer where I’ve compiled a list of the best cream cheeses to put on your bagel.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 22:58

How are things since the fire anyways? Everything good?

scoob > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 22:59

Kinja'd!!!

wafflesnfalafel > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:01

I really like toaster ovens, super useful, efficient, easy to use, you can warm your plate on top while food cooks, etc, etc - but my wife hates them...

Alfalfa > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
02/06/2018 at 23:02

Good, things are finally starting to feel normal this week.

Alfalfa > wafflesnfalafel
02/06/2018 at 23:05

It was only today that I discovered (to no surprise) that my wife’s mother did not believe in microwaves and a toaster oven is all she had when she was at her mom’s place. I like it so far. Of course we also have a microwave, I’m no weirdo.

2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:14

Understeer my bagel for the Honda guys

Chariotoflove > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:25

I had no idea you were burned down! Glad to hear you’re getting back to normal. Toaster ovens have definite uses. But, if you want a grade a toaster for bread and bagels, you really do need a slot toaster. Only problem is, then stuff gets stuck inside. I stick with the combo unit.

sn4cktimes > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:39

This may be the very best review. Of all time. For anything. Ever.

Thank-you, both my wife and I laughed.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:41

I have one of those Breville Smart Ovens they’re always advertising on the FP. It’s easily the best toaster I’ve ever used.

TheHondaBro > Alfalfa
02/06/2018 at 23:55

THAT COMBINATION OF PIZZA HUT AND TACO BELL

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Alfalfa
02/07/2018 at 00:02

Great review. For your next toaster, you may want to check out a Black&Decker toaster with “EvenToast Technology.” Seriously, that’s what they call it. I have one and can confirm that it does, in fact, toast evenly provide you arrange the bread/bagel/muffin as described in the manual. I think they can be had on sale for around $30. On a more serious note, I hope everything has been going well and you are settling into the new place OK.